How to be Unemployed

I've been unemployed for a little over a month now and I would like to give out some tips to those joining this elite club.

1.  Embrace it.  This can be hard.  If you're like me, you'll start out full force looking for your next job.  But unfortunately, it is a competitive job market right now, and that next job might not be as easy as you think.  Think of this time as the free time you always wanted to do the things you never really have time for...spend more time with loved ones, go on little weekend trips, read books, maybe learn a new skill.  Also, a lot of employers want to know what you've been doing in your time off so think of it as a good chance to show them what a self-starter and active learner you are.

2.  Get out of the house.  Keep active and allow yourself to use the time with activities other than job search.  It will make you feel good to be out and about like the rest of the world.  I just moved, so I spend a lot of time trying to get to know my new neighborhood.

3. Apply Sparingly.  I don't know how recruiters do it but somehow they can see through an unsure application and cover letter.  For all the jobs I said "what the heck, I'll just apply and see what happens." I never get a response.  For the jobs that I am actually interested in and excited about, I have a way better response rate.  Try to really read the job description and make sure you actually like the job and fulfill the basic requirements.  In today's job markets, hiring managers have the luxury of hiring people with all of the necessary experience, so its my recommendation to not waste your time on a job that you clearly do not fulfill basic requirements.  Instead, spend that time on writing unique and colorful cover letters.

4. Recognize the highs.  When you actually earn yourself a one-on-one interview be proud and excited about it, even if it turns out not to be a job offer.  Just because you didn't get the offer doesn't mean you weren't a great candidate.  You probably beat out 10's maybe 100's of applicants just to earn yourself that in-person.  As an inexperienced college grad, its pretty rare I get to the interview stage at all....so just remember there are tons of people out there you beat out.  And getting really close with one company could mean a job offer at the next.

5.  Work Part-time or temp.  This might not be for everyone but I think it could be a really great thing for some.  Working partially removes the fiscal pressure of finding that next job.  With a little less pressure, interviews might not feel as scary and therefore you will come off more natural and confident through out the process.  Also, maybe the part-time or temp work could add an experience that might interest a potential employer. AND a lot of temporary work has been known to lead into full time offers.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

"Heavenly" at Tahoe

It was our 2 year anniversary last Thursday and what better way to celebrate it than a trip to Tahoe.  One of the many benefits of my new location...a short 3 hour drive to Tahoe!!  It was so great to escape the huge stresses we're both under right now-- he is in the "busy season" for accounting right now...meaning 12-14 hour work days, and I am searching for a job in the Bay Area.  I've come to the conclusion that the world has made getting hired such a stressful and time-consuming activity to make you think twice before quitting your current job and looking for another one, thus keeping many people at their current jobs!

Anyway, we enjoyed a long day boarding at Heavenly Resort--which was "heavenly!" with a break for drinks at the "Umbrella Bar."  And then a long Jacuzzi that afternoon.  Unfortunately, I came down with a little cold so the next day we went to brunch and then I napped for a little.  We left that afternoon and stopped at a Pyramid Brewery to catch the second half of the Super Bowl.  I decided that we must be good luck for San Francisco because their amazing turn around started just as we started watching.

Such a great weekend, but way too short.  Looking at these pictures is even me jealous of myself!  I'm back to reality today--waiting to hear back on a few interviews and anticipating a phone interview in a half hour with "Yelp."  Jon thinks this week is gonna be a good week for me and I desperately want to believe him.  Cross your fingers everyone!  

How was your weekend?

Adventures in The City

My sister and her Nick came to visit me this weekend, and it was an amazing weekend, as all weekends in San Francisco seem to be.  There was lots of craft beers, good food, and sights being seen.  I was feeling so very refreshed for this week ahead of me until I spent the day interviewing, applying, and getting a rejection from an interview last week.  The job application process is on the list of worst activities possible right under Chinese torture and above cramming for finals.  But...

"Nothing good, ever came easy."

"Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats." -Amos Bronson Alcott

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. " -Vince Lombardi

My two little lovebirds at Dolores Park.

3 Things I'm Grateful For

Gratitude is such an important tool to boost your happiness, and in line with November, the month of giving thanks...I'm posting 3 things I'm thankful for.

1.  Warm holiday inspired drinks with friends on chilly days

2. Getting cozy in hoodies and blankets

3.  Lots of Christmas decor in all the stores

Writing down 3 things your thankful for everyday for a week is proven to decrease depressive symptoms 6 months down the line.

What are you thankful for these days?

Feel Good Fridays

In Seligman's book Learned Optimism.  He explains of his work with a Life Insurance company called Met Life.   Seligman worked with the CEO to develop a test that would better predict the success of Life Insurance agents...what Seligman added to the test: optimism.  Seligman and the CEO turned out to be right; the more optimistic the agent the better he performed and the longer he stuck around.

Seligman says the recipe for success includes three determinants: aptitude, motivation, and optimism.

Which reminds me of that Disney Channel movie:
"si, se puede...Yes, we can!"

Click here for a brief background on Feel Good Fridays.

Feel Good Fridays

 Photo cred.

For a brief explanation of Feel Good Fridays click here.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D. explains in her model of happiness that "studies show that 50% of individual differences in happiness are determined by genes, 10% by life circumstances, and 40% by our intentional activities."

This is groundbreaking work to think about.  Only 10% of happiness is decided by life circumstances.  That means whether you're wealthy or poor, fat or skinny, pretty or ugly, you have a college degree or you never graduated high school...those circumstances only affect your happiness by 10%!  40% is affected by our intentional activities.  That to me screams that we are in control of how happy we feel.  We don't need all these self help books and exercise programs to make us happy, we just need to train our minds a little bit.

I hope this affects you as much as it does for me, have a great weekend everyone! 

Feel Good Fridays

 For a brief explanation about Feel Good Fridays click here

This is a Part 2, to my last Friday's post:

Are you an optimist or a pessimist, what's your explanatory style?

Why are some people successful despite many setbacks and others fail?  Why do some people keep striving and others give up?  Psychologists relate this to your explanatory style, the way you explain events to yourself.

Martin Seligman, Ph.D. says there are 3 dimensions to explanatory style but today I am just going to focus on one....pervasiveness.  Pervasiveness describes the way you view some events to carry over into multitude aspects of your life.  The optimist views bad events to be specific to that situation and the good events to be universal.  For instance when an optimist receives a bad grade on a midterm, he says to himself, "I got a bad grade because I didn't study very hard, next time I will do better."  As opposed to the pessimist who says, "I failed my test!  I'm not smart, I'm just not cut out for this college thing."  In this example its pretty easy to see why optimism leads to overall success.  Also, when good events happen an optimist applies it universally; "I got an A in that class because I am intelligent and a good student."  This gives the optimist the courage/confidence to keep going.  This is the mental pathway that leads you and everybody else to success.  In the end, it is only in your best interest to think optimistically.  As the title of Selgiman's book says "Learned Optimism, how to change your mind and your life."   


I hope you all are feeling good this Friday!

Night time at the lake

You know those nights when someone invites you out but you are so absolutely tired and all you really wanna do is cuddle on the couch, but something inside you makes you go anyway ?  Well today I wanna celebrate that something.  That something that ignores all the reasons not to do something and says "I don't really care, I'm going to do it anyway."

So even though I was dog tired last night, I went out with my cousin and his friend.  We went to one of our man made lakes, the kind you need to "belong to" to use, and hopped a fence and went night swimming.  It was quiet and still except for the black water moving thick and slow as we swam through it.  It was one of those experiences that makes you feel like you're really living. 

Anyway, (in my head I picture myself toasting when I say this) here's to the nights when you feel like you're really living and to that something in your head that just always says YES."

A Good Moment

This was my lazy Saturday afternoon.  Good moments in life are important...but what's most important?  ...knowing to appreciate them. 

Feel Good Fridays

For a breif explanation of Feel Good Fridays click here.

Are you an optimist or a pessimist, what's your explanatory style?

Why are some people successful despite many setbacks and others fail?  Why do some people keep striving and others give up?  Psychologists relate this to your explanatory style, the way you explain events to yourself.

Seligman says there are 3 dimensions to explanatory style but today I am just going to focus on one...permanence.  When something bad happens to you does it feel like it will be that way forever or do you think of it as only a temporary setback?  For instance, you don't get hired for the job you wanted...do you think "I will never get hired for a good job" or do you think "the competition was tough for this job, I will have better luck with the next one."  Seligman explains that people who are successful in life think of bad events as only temporary.  Failure makes everyone feel momentarily helpless, those that can let go of failure faster are able to continue to try for success.  For good events, optimists think the opposite; good events are permanent.  People who believe good events have permanence are more likely to try harder after they succeed.  Those who feel they are temporary are more likely to give up.

Training yourself to think more optimistically will ultimately lead to being more successful in all aspects of life; you relationships, your job, your creative endeavors, etc.

Happy Friday everyone!

Feel Good Fridays

Even with his cone, Tucker is feeling good on Fridays.
Click here for a quick background on "Feel Good Fridays."

Are you an optimist or a pessimist or maybe, like most of us, you consider yourself a realist?  As a former realist, converted optimist, I thought being an optimist meant being idealistic, out of touch with reality, a dreamer, a hippie!  But the social meaning of optimism has changed in large part due to Positive Psychology.  Optimism is a way of thinking that allows for self-growth, love for other people, desire to change, and even success for ourselves.  It is the optimist that overcomes his failures and with resilience, works on to achieve success.  The optimist does not ignore problems, no he overcomes the minds natural tendencies to dwell on problems and decides to focus himself on the potential successes of the future.

And for your optimistic pleasure here is a quote from Seligman's book Learned Optimism about the benefits of optimism:

"The way we think, especially about health, changes our health.

Optimists catch fewer infectious diseases than pessimists do.

Optimists have better health habits than pessimists do.

Our immunes system may work better when we are optimistic.

Evidence suggest that optimists live longer than pessimists."

Feel Good Fridays

 Today marks the first of a series I'm starting called "Feel Good Fridays."  This blog is meant for me to share and express my findings and thoughts about happiness, on a personal level but also from a scientific perspective.  Often the terms "happiness" or "self-help" leave a bad taste--one in which involves an uneducated, non-researched opinion on "how to get happy."  I have found that there are experiments in happiness that are backed with extensive follow up.
These experiments are part of the one of the youngest branches of psychology called "Positive Psychology."  This is a psychology that focuses on how to make the well mind better instead of the typical how to fix the unwell mind.
The father of it all is Martin Seligman, Ph.D.  For those of you with some general psychology background, Seligman actually gained his fame and reputability from his studies on learned helplessness.  It was after these studies, Seligman started to switch his focus to the opposite end of learned helplessness...learned optimism and its affects on achievements, health, and overall thinking.
I recently began reading his book "Learned Optimisim."  And so I begin this series with the quote Seligman begins his book.

"yes is a world

& in this world of

yes live

(skilfully curled)

all worlds"

 e.e. cummings